As men,sexual temptation can lurk around any corner. It’s a reality in this world and it’s a battlefield where Satan is waging war. FIGHT BACK! We hope the following guidelines will help you.
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23
- Guard your Eyes – Your eyes are connected to your heart. Heart adultry is connected to eye adultry. Work at training your eyes to immediately ‘bounce’ away from the ‘sexual’, like the jerk of your hand away from a hot stove. What are the most obvious and prolific sources of sensual images apart from your wife? Where do you look most often? Where are you the weakest? “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl” Job 31:1 (see also MT 5:28)
- Guard Your Minds - The mind is the line of scrimmage in the Christian life, and whoever controls the line of scrimmage wins the game. In times of war the first casualty is the truth. Protect yourself from thinking or fantasising about other women. Remember, you cannot prevent wrong thoughts from coming to your mind, but what you do with that thought in the next microsecond will determine whether that thought will turn into sin. Begin to fill your mind with wholesome thoughts as you memorise scripture. “…take every thought to make it obedient to Christ” 2 Cor 10:5 (see also Rom 12:2)
- Exercise Extreme Caution with Other Women - It often starts innocently with a look, touch or word. It then can accelerate into an emotional relationship which builds momentum toward disaster and despair. If you are exposed to a woman in your life who prompts your mind to impure thoughts, then take a hike! Do everything possible to stay clear of that woman. The pin has been removed from the grenade! “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” 1 Cor 6:18; “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” Heb 13:4 (see also Rom 6:12)
- Commit to a “Band of Brothers” - If men are going to help you in this area, we need to tell them of our struggles. Each of us needs men in our lives who love us enough to challenge us in the private areas of our thoughts. It also means we have to listen to what they are saying and take appropriate action. Some potential accountability questions:
- Are there any women filling your thoughts during the day other than your wife?
- Are you looking forward to being with any women other than your wife?
- Have you been viewing any images that are impure?
- What situations are leading you into times of impure thoughts?
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
- A Strong Relationship with Your Father - Our relationship with our Heavenly Father is the strongest defence we have. Build into your life consistent times of prayer, Bible study, journaling, worship and solitude. May we fall more and more in love with Jesus as the days go on and, as a result, develop a healthy “fear of the Lord.” “Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Mathew 22.37 (see also Dt 6:5)
- Honor and Cherish Your Wife - Intentionally work at developing your love relationship with your wife. Our wives thirst for an emotional, spiritual, and sexual oneness that meets the craving in their soul to be connected, protected, cared for, and cherished. Begin by taking your wife out weekly on a date. Work at touching her soul with your ears and share your soul with her. If you are sexually thirsty, quench it at home rather than with someone else’s wife. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” Eph 5:25 (see also Col 3:19).
- Know God’s Forgiveness in Your Life - There are times when we stumble. The good news is that God has provided a way for us to experience His grace and forgiveness in our lives. In 1 John 1:9, it says “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” When you stumble, confess it immediately and repent of it.Know that there is no sin too big for God to forgive, nor is there anything we can do to seperate us from the love of God. Rom 8:37-39; Psalm 103:11-12; Acts 3:19